By Meredith Skowronski
My father-in-law, Jerry, loved deer. He would paint them, build them out of clay, carefully molding and coloring them to perfection. When he died suddenly of a massive stroke in 2020, followed closely by the death of my mother-in-law, Joann, in early 2021, deer became a spiritual and mystical creature for our family. Whenever we saw deer, we knew that “Grandma and Grandpa” were close, watching over us, smiling down on us from Heaven.
My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer two weeks before his mother died. He started weekly treatments that March. Without fail, almost every morning before he would leave for what would be an excruciating round of chemotherapy, we would be visited by deer in our driveway. Grandma and Grandpa–always close.
This past summer, I attended my first individually directed retreat at Manresa. During my time listening to the Spirit in silence, I was led to write letters to my husband and my son, sharing with them how much I value and love them, and expressing my gratitude for the space they gave me to attend the retreat. I found a quiet, contemplative spot by a small stream, surrounded by woods, and began to write to my son.
As I was writing, I noticed movement across the river from me. When I looked up, there were two deer — a mother and a baby. They walked across the path toward me, stopped just on the other side of the stream where I was sitting, perhaps twenty feet away, and gazed at me for the longest time. A mother and a baby, just as I (a mother) was writing a letter to our son (my baby!). The deer stayed for quite some time, watching me, studying me, and simply being present with me. I spoke to them, said hello, and thanked them for visiting. I told them they were beautiful and said a prayer, thanking God (and Grandma and Grandpa) for stopping by to see me. It was a beautiful and unexpected God-wink.
Throughout my five-day retreat, God gifted me with several of these moments, and I am thankful that I had the space, openness, and attentiveness to receive them. They were life-changing for me and reminded me of how deeply beloved I am, how connected I am to God in all things, and how God is always present to me.
For more information on Manresa’s 100th Anniversary, visit manresa-sj.org/100Years.